Thanksgiving!

Hello all! I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving festivities. Being back at work certainly sucks a fat one, doesn't it?

Remember how I promised to make "Hamburger Helper" again and post pictures? Well, here goes.

My aunts are also vegan so we coordinated a Thanksgiving menu to share at my gram's house, the traditional gathering place for all major holidays. Please note that all the food at her house is extremely non-vegan. And delicious. I stared at it for a good 20 minutes, total.

Our menu consisted of Hamburger Helper, mashed potatoes, a sweet potato dish, and some fudgey dessert. I believe there was also an apple crisp, but I can't be certain. The dessert table is a magical area of the room filled with delectable treats. It's not easy to look past the pie, trust me...because I ate some and it was divine.

Vegan Hamburger Helper, as I've mentioned in the past, is super easy to make and simply delightful. The proof is in the pictures:

The set up

'Cheese' sauce, 'meat' crumbles (browned for about 10 minutes) and quinoa pasta (cooked according to the package directions)

I prepared the 'cheese' sauce as I always do, but I also added Daiya Cheese to make it cheesier.

After the pasta was done and the 'meat' crumbles browned, I added everything to a gigantic pot and stirred it all together.

I also added garlic powder, pepper, and Herbamare for more flavor.

All in all, a very easy recipe with lots of flavor and protein. My aunts seemed to really enjoy it so I'd say it is a winner! The next time I make it, I'm going Mexican-style. I can't get enough cumin. I just can't.

The Post That Isn't a Post

Cryptic, eh?

I know it's been awhile since I've checked in with y'all. Honestly, my life has been pretty much one of three things:

1. obsessing over The Vampire Diaries, The Walking Dead and Boardwalk Empire.
2. making 'chips' out of wheat/gluten-free tortillas so I can eat all the guacamole possible. I can't get enough avocado in my body.
3. working my ass off Insanity-style.

I've been eating basically the same things that I've already shared with you. [I know, I know. Super exciting.]  Okay FINE, I cheated once or twice. Bacon gets me EVERY.TIME. I'm not going to try to make any excuses. I wanted bacon and so I ate it. I felt incredibly fat and guilty. It was mostly worth it.

I made one new, delicious dish, but I forgot to take pictures [sad face]. Because I'm a big douche and I forgot to take pictures, I considered not posting it buuuuut it's just too good to not share! I promise I'll make it again soon and post some pictures for you.

Dying to know what it is? It's Vegan "Hamburger" Helper! [Pause for applause and general gasps of awe].  Super easy to make and MUCH healthier than the meaty counterpart. I used quinoa pasta, Quorn ground 'meat' crumbles, and the Vegan Cheese Sauce, topped with fresh parsley. It was delicious, hearty, and comforting: a perfect balance to the cold weather!

I'll make it again this week and post pictures and the official recipe!

Sandy, Soup, and a Personal Triumph

I'm in a great mood today. I know you're dying to ask why. It's because yesterday at my cousin's bridal shower, there was about 56 delicious non-vegan, non-veg foods there. Just thinking about it gives me the sweats, but I abstained. This is a personal triumph for me. I ate the vegan Taco Salad Dip that I prepared and the Vegan Mac'n Cheese that my aunt prepared in addition to a tremendous amount of fruit salad. So good. I did have some chocolate, but there was a fucking chocoloate fountain there so, yea. Temptation was high but my resolve was pretty flippin strong this time. I had a few chocolate-covered strawberries and some chocolate-covered pretzels, but no cake, no ice cream [pause for gasps of shock and awe]. I'm proud that I didn't give in. 

That's the good news. The bad news is that some asshole hurricane, named Sandy, is barreling up the east coast. Fucker! Everyone is scrambling to hoard supplies, which takes my anxiety from the comfortable 5 to an extreme 9. [I run high-anxiety most of the time, which is why a 5 is comfortable for me.] Last time it flooded [thank you Irene], the Susquehanna river was about a block from my house. People in this area are saying that this storm is going to be worse than Irene [cue chest pains and hives]. Anyway, we've gathered supplies and are hoping for the best. I'm currently doing laundry and other prep work just in case we lose power.

Heart palpitations aside, I made some Broccoli and "Cheese" soup this morning. I am a soup fiend, which is one of the only reasons I get excited about autumn and winter. Hurricane weather is perfect for warm, hearty soup! [You have to find the positive in every situation, right?] You already know where I got this recipe from...Oh She Glows. Duh.

The only thing I would change about her recipe is that she says to use a large skillet to simmer all the veggies and broth.

As you can see, you need a big pot. This crazy veggie tower is before I added the vegetable broth.

.

Much better.

 It was pretty intense because there was a lot of veggie washing/chopping but using a food processor will definitely speed up the prep time. I am an idiot and didn't think to use the food processor. Actually, I was cocky about it. She mentions that a food processor would speed everything up, but I thought "it's just broccoli, celery, onion and potatoes. I can handle that." No. I'll definitely use a food processor next time. My poor kitchen was a complete disaster.

While the soup was simmering, I prepared the cheese sauce. Although it looks the same, this recipe is a little different than the cheese sauce used in the Vegan Mac'n Cheese.

When the potatoes are tender, you blend the soup [the level of smoothness is up to you]. I like a thicket soup, bordering on a chowder-ish consistency so I didn't blend the life out of it. That's my personal choice. You may prefer a smoother, creamier soup.

After you blend your soup, throw it back into the pot and stir in the cheese sauce. I added the minced parsley to the soup rather than use it just for garnish.

I also added Daiya cheese and stirred it all together. I haven't served the soup yet but I did taste-test it, and it is delicious! It would pair really well with some bread like a baguette.

Disclaimer: I'm not sure how this soup will reheat so it might be one of those "serve immediately" things, but I'll let you know!

Getting Crazy in the Kitch'

Good day. It's Monday. I don't want to talk about it, but it's almost done.

I woke up feeling like I was beaten mercilessly with a baseball bat. Perhaps I was...I'm looking at you, Timmy.

I have some extraordinary news: we got a dishwasher, yo! I'm so fucking pumped about it. It's borderline obscene.

glorious.

I love it. The dogs, not so much. It's my suspicion that they think the dishwasher is in cahoots with the vacuum. So far, I have yet to witness any collaboration between the two. If you ask Loxley, he's convinced that the dishwasher is the hissing, gurgling cohort of the loud, scary vacuum. I would feel bad for him, but it's just too stinkin cute.

Moving on...it's been awhile since you've heard from me. I've been told that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so hopefully you're feeling very fond of me. I know how I feel about you [wink, wink]. I'm sure you've been up to super fun, super Fallish things. I've been slightly less exciting and more domestic: cleaning, cooking, baking, laundering [clothes, not money].

Here are a few recipes that I find to be rather stellar and I think you should try them immediately:

Veggie Chili [adapted from a meat-based crockpot recipe]. In the effort of full disclosure, I should warn you that you'll have the most hellacious gas ever but it's totally worth it. Trust me.

Cowboy Casserole...stop laughing. It's a crockpot recipe I found online so I can't be held responsible for calling it Cowboy Casserole. It's hearty and homey; perfect for a cold, rainy day!

I forgot to take pictures of the chili and the casserole [I know, I know. I'm the worst.] It's just that they are so delicious, I couldn't stop eating them long enough to take a picture.

I did remember to visually log these little babies:

One Bite Fudge Cookies, adapted from Oh She Glows, obvi. Why adapt anything she makes? Simply to avoid using the tortillas because those little bitches are impossible to stuff into a mini cupcake tin. Annnnnnd I thought I'd cut out some of the carbs by not using them. Less frustration and slightly less fat ass. Win-win.

I decided to put the fudge in cupcake wrappers and let them chill in the freezer as per Oh She Glows' recipe. I also made the Chocolate Chip "cookie" dough dip and put that on top. It's incredible that its main ingredient is potatoes, and it tastes like cookie dough!!! The consistency is a little different, but once it's chilled, it's much more comparable.

I also have a huge confession to make. I've been falling off the vegan wagon like a god damn junkie. I was doing really well at first, but my resolve is reaching its limits. I've decided to try having a cheat meal each week to see if that helps keep me on track until I get over my weakening discipline. I ALWAYS feel like complete shit when I eat dairy and meat, but I keep coming back for more.

I know I can man up and go meatless, no problem but being vegan is so much harderrrrrr. My new goal [so I don't continuously fall into a shame spiral] is to be vegetarian 4-5 days of the week and vegan for 2-3 days. I had also considered going meal-by-meal like two meals a day are vegan and 1 is just vegetarian, but that seems to be too many steps in the wrong direction. I don't know which would work best, but I'll try the day-by-day approach first. You're supposed to take things one day at a time, right?

Vegan Mexican

Well, it's officially Fall outside: chilly, overcast and breezy. I'm not complaining because I love me some autumnal weather, but it means that winter is around the corner. Sad face.

Today Tim and I finally made it to Bloom Naturally, the only decent local health food store. Two things: 1) I love it. 2) I wish it was in my backyard. Sure, sure Bloom isn't far from Danville but it's so out of the way for me considering I never go to Bloom anymore. Anyway, we finally went to do some grocery shopping for the first time. Previously, we'd buy an item or two, mostly supplements and tea, but this time we needed a basket [probably should have used a cart. I do that EVERY TIME].

I'm starting to get bored with our dinner recipes so I spent some time reviewing vegan recipes online. I'm fairly conservative with the recipes I try, especially vegan ones. Trying new things is exciting but it can be disappointing. The last thing anyone wants at the end of the work day is a disappointing meal! Small confession: disappointing meals put me in a terrible mood ESPECIALLY if I'm at a restaurant. I'm certain the level of irritation and disappointment is completely disproportional to the offense, but I take food very seriously. I told you that one of the greatest pleasures of my life is going out to eat. It is my opinion that if I'm spending money somewhere, the food better be as good as it is describned in the menu. When it isn't, I go from disappointed to sad to irritated in about 3 seconds flat. [I hate being the victim of false advertising].

Moving on...sooo, trying new things, yes. I like learning how to cook new foods, but there's a certain level of anxiety when approaching something new in the kitchen.  This is why I'm fairly conservative. Maybe as I learn more secrets of successful vegan cooking, I'll feel more comfortable thinking out of the box. Until then, I'll work with the foods and techniques that I know. Of course, I stuck with Oh She Glows because that girl knows how to COOK. Every recipe we've tried has been bang-a-rang.

Lately, I've been craving Mexican food. I love all things cilantro, cheesy, beany, and nachoey. One of my favorite Bloom restaurants is Playa Cancun. LOVE their food. It does not love my gut back, but you win some and you lose some. It's worth it. Fortunately for me, my new best friend [she doesn't know it yet, but it's happening] has a Vegan Enchilada recipe that is TO DIE FOR.

I followed her recipe exactly with the exception of the spices. I love cumin and cilantro so I amped that up a bit. I think next time around, I'll had some jalapenos. A little heat never hurt anyone!

She used sweet potato in her recipe, but she also said that you can use zucchini. I opted for the zucchini because we had some leftover, easy peasy.

onion, zucchini, black beans, spinach, garlic, and green pepper

then added enchilada sauce, cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, nutritional yeast, and lime juice

Wrapped in brown rice tortillas, topped with Daiya cheese [super good vegan cheese]

While those little babies were baking their hearts out, I prepped the Cilantro Avocado Cream Sauce. I can't get enough avocado. It's my favorite.

Fresh cilantro, lime juice, avocado, apple cider vinegar, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, and cumin.

Cilantro Avocado Cream Sauce, blew my mind

After the sauce was prepped, I chopped some scallions to garnish the enchiladas. Definitely added that nice fresh crunch. Annnnd you all know that when given the opportunity to use scallions, I will.

They're so joyous!

Get in my face.

This recipe gets 5 out of 5 stars. If you're craving Mexican food, I insist that you try this. It's an easy recipe with a fairly quick prep time. Chopping the veggies takes a few minutes, but that's about it!

Also, this is the first time since going vegan that I tried vegan cheese and didn't vomit in my mouth. I tried a few vegan cheeses a couple of years ago, and let me just say...DIS-GUST-ING. I was leery of trying the Daiya cheese, but I'm SO happy I did. It's the best-tasting vegan cheese I've ever had. Try it.

Post Fair Shame

Hello pretties. Most of you are aware that the great Bloomsburg Fair was in full force last week. Yes, I went. Yes, I ate both meat and dairy. Yes, I paid for it in more ways than one [you get the drift].

I considered not going at all because I knew the temptation would be too great, buuuuuut I couldn't pass up the opportunity to hang out with my favorite little lady, Cecelia.

Best buds, fo life.

Listen, I'm not proud. I won't say it wasn't worth it [specifically the pizza] but I'm back on track. To make up for my dietary lapse, I've decided to move forward with my quest rather than beat myself up over a few bites of pizza and a pretzel sandwich. If anything, those few cheat meals showed me exactly what dairy and meat does to my body. Terrible, terrible things. I had zero energy, my stomach was queasy; and I am currently hosting some pretty terrific pimples [yes, they've been hanging around since last week. No, I'm not amused].

Anyway, what better way to get back on track than to indulge in some of my new favorite things?! Let me tell you about my current obsessions. First, Vegan Cheese Sauce. The very one that accompanied the Butternut Squash Mac'n Cheese sans the butternut squash. I've added this delicious nectar to broccoli, quinoa, Mexican-inspired dishes...you name, I've added this sauce. I'm also currently obsessed with sweet potatoes. I'm kinda new to the orange potato realm. I hated sweet potatoes as a kid, but I've learned that it's not the potato's fault. It's a consistency thing for me. Sweet potato casserole? I'd sooner die. I'm all about preparing it like you would a baked potato. My new favorite lunch is sweet potato 'chips' with cheese sauce. These are baked chips, and they are delightful.

First, slice the potato into thin-ish slices. The thinner they are, the crispier they get [duh]. Spray or drizzle olive oil on your baking sheet [ours are atrocious so I always put tin foil down to hide my shame the burn marks]. Place the chips on the baking sheet and coat with olive oil. I use olive oil spray to keep the caloric count down. Then sprinkle with whatever spices strike your fancy! [I kept it simple with pepper because I was making the delicious cheese sauce.] Put those puppies in the oven at 375 for 8 - 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare your cheese sauce. I added some scallions because I have a major hard-on for them right now [yes, RIGHT NOW] annnnnd I wanted to use them up before they "turned". [Side note: I've always found that phrase to be creepy. "Turned"...so ominous. You could be talking about food or zombies.]

Look at them. They're so cute.

Here's a quick refresher for the Vegan Cheese Sauce as seen in Oh She Glows:

• 1 tbsp Earth Balance (or other non-dairy butter replacer)
• 3/4 cup unsweetened & unflavoured almond milk (revised from 1 cup)
• 1 tbsp arrowroot powder (or cornstarch)
• 6 tbsp nutritional yeast, or more to taste
• 2 tsp Dijon mustard
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2-3/4 tsp kosher salt (or to taste) & ground black pepper, to taste

Add Earth balance over low-medium heat. In a bowl, whisk together milk and arrowroot powder (or cornstarch or flour) until clumps are gone. Add into pot and whisk. Stir in remaining ingredients (nutritional yeast, Dijon, garlic, S & P) and whisk over low heat until thickened (about 5-7 minutes or so).

I'm drooling on my keyboard and I don't.even.care.

Before pulling your 'chips' from the oven, I recommend you broil them for a minute or 2 to get them nice and crispy.

Behold.

Top your 'chips' with the cheese sauce and get frisky.

Dear Jenny, I love you giiiirl

This post might have the most accurate title to date. My friend/fellow foodie/girl on a mission shared the most delectable, finger-lickin-good recipe with me, and I am forever in her debt.

Last night, Tim and I made Vegan Butternut Squash Mac'n Cheese. Blew.My.Mind.

Not only was it super easy to make [so much easier than I originally anticipated] but it was seriously magical. I believe that the Author/Bloggess of Oh She Glows is an actual wizard.

In the original recipe, she shows you how to prepare a butternut squash for roasting. She does mention that you can use canned squash [or pumpkin!] if you're pinched for time. To my amazement, the grocery store had some fresh-cut butternut squash in the produce section. LOVE THAT. Obviously, I opted to use those little squashy morsels. It cut the prep time down quite a bit. Who doesn't love that?! Don't even try to tell me you don't. Liar.

The "cheese" sauce is so, so cheesy and delicious...you won't even believe it. In fact, I guarantee you'll taste it and say "Shut UP! Seriously, stop it. SO, so good." Then you'll lick the bowl, the spoon, and possibly the counter. As a side-note, the cheese sauce calls for Dijon mustard. This seems simple enough, but there are like 5 different kinds of Dijon mustard. I got a little nervous about which one to buy: the one made with white wine, the one made specifically with chardonnay, or the "old fashioned" kind with the actual mustard seeds in it. I opted for the one with chardonnay because the ingredient list was only 5 ingredients long, and I knew [and could pronounce] every ingredient. When in doubt, check it out [the label, I mean]. 

The recipe might seem daunting at first, but it's really very easy if you break it down in steps. First, get your butternut squash roasting. Then start boiling the water for your pasta. Once you get those under way, you get serious with your new love: the cheesy delight/sauce. The sauce takes about 8 minutes total so I'd wait until you get your pasta going and the butternut squash is about ready to come out of the oven. When the sauce is ready and the squash is done, you throw them into a blender/food processor and process under smooth and creamy. Voila! Cheesy, buttery heaven.

You take that cheesy delight and pour it over the cooked pasta [feel free to add any extra veggies like kale, broccoli, etc]. Then shove it in your face. And smile.

The Crockpot

Never, under any circumstances, underestimate the crock pot. If you're unfamiliar with the crock pot, get familiar. It's your new best friend.

 

The possibilities are endless. Get excited, people! It's my go-to device for making soups, chili, lasagna, casseroles...the list goes on and on.

Sounds pretty flippin' awesome, right? What's the best thing about the crock pot, you ask? Simply this, it does it practically all the work, and the reward is a meal that lasts for days.

Most of the recipes that I use require very little upfront effort. Chopping some veggies or browning some meat [if you're into that] is basically all you have to do to create a wonderful meal. Sound too good to be true? Well, it's not.

On Wednesday while I was working, my crock pot made Tim and I some Barley and Lentil Soup. I've made this recipe several times in the past because there is nothing better than some hot soup on a chilly day [obviously]. The original recipe's base is beef broth, but for my vegan purpose, I used organic vegetable broth. I also chopped some carrots, onion, and celery; added herbes de Provence, dried basil, minced garlic and uncooked barley and lentils. [You'll find the specifics here]. I like this recipe because you can tweak it to your preference. For example, herbes de Provence is not in the original recipe but it's my favorite combination of dried herbs to add to soups. I don't know what it is, perhaps the Frenchiness of it all, but it adds another taste profile. [My goodness, I am fancy].

Clearly, Brisby was out of her mind with excitement... 

If you're new to homemade soups, this recipe is for you! It's super easy and twice as delish.

When Weekends Attack

Hello darlings. I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Mine was too short, duh.

I sucked at life this weekend. Not only did I partake of dairy, I ate a small amount of bacon and hamburger. I know, I know. Gag me.

Obviously, I take full responsibility. I did not plan for my Saturday well enough. You see, I was visiting my aunt and uncle outside of Harrisburg with the sole purpose of creating majestic centerpieces for my cousin's wedding. With all those creative juices flowing, I didn't even think about what I was going to eat. I HATE being a burden so I ate what was generously prepared. I'm slightly upset with myself, but these are my struggles. Anyway, the salad had diced bacon and blue cheese crumbles. The half of a hamburger was sheer hunger. I can honestly say that it completely grossed me out...don't get me wrong, it tasted divine. It just freaked me out to eat it knowing what I know about the FDA, etc. Fortunately, I lived to die another day. Unfortunately, my stomach and sinuses were PISSED OFF all day. Unpleasant...just unpleasant.

I spent all day today decorating my house and yard in the autumnal tradition. This time of year is my absolute favorite! I love all the colors, the smells, the weather. Who doesn't love the festive look of mums and pumpkins? I can't get enough.

I also tried making up for my Day of Travel and Weakness. Let's face it, we're all busy as shit. Being able to grab something quick and easy is paramount. I totally get it, which is why keeping a good pantry of staple non-perishables is key. I whole-heartedly recommend making a bunch of quinoa or brown rice to keep for a few days so you can whip up a meal in a pinch. For example, after running errands and decorating the yard, Tim and I were ready to eat one of the dogs [which would be gross and sad]. Instead, we made a super easy and delicious lunch. By taking leftover quinoa, fresh zucchini, onion, and kidney beans all sauteed over medium heat, we had a tasty lunch in about 7 minutes. Can't beat that with a stick, eh? So much healthier and quicker than hitting the drive-thru or ordering a pizza!

Several hours later, we made a delicious dinner complete with pictures! Win!

Spaghetti Squash with Mushrooms, Onions, and Avocado Cream Sauce 

Official Sous Chef

Timmy worked on the mushrooms and onions. [I prepared the Avocado Cream Sauce while the spaghetti squash was cooling.]

Clearly, he takes his sous chef duties seriously.

Halved and ready for seed extraction. This is not a technical term. It just sounds fancy.

Avocado Cream Sauce added to the mushrooms and onions.

Finished product! 

Let me tell you, the Avocado Cream Sauce should really be called "Heaven in Your Face". It is the MOST delectable sauce I've ever encountered and that is not an exaggeration. It's an excellent replacement for pesto sauce [or really any sauce or dressing ever]. I was amazed that it tasted exactly like pesto sauce. Please, please, please try it and let me know what you think!

Happy Friday!

It's Friday [thank the sweet baby Jesus] and the weekend is just a few short hours away. I usually start my Fridays in a great mood [b/c it's fucking Friday] however, today started off kinda yucky.

Why? I slipped up last night and ordered a veggie flatbread pizza with mushrooms, spinach, red onion, balsamic drizzle, annnnnnnnnnnnnnd cheese. Sad face.

In retrospect, I should have asked for "no cheese" but I broke the cardinal rule of eating. I waited too long between meals, and I was ravenous. Insane with hunger. I couldn't bother to make a vegan choice. Or give a flying fuck about what was going on with anything. I needed sustenance and for the sake of everyone's well-being, I needed it immediately. I was two seconds away from snatching a child and roasting it.

Just kidding. Sort of.

The pizza was bangarang, by the way. It would have been delicious without cheese, but again...raging hunger took over. I didn't even take a picture because 1) it wasn't on the plate long enough and 2) I don't have a laproscopic camera. You see the predicament, I'm sure. 

I'm only slightly ashamed. We're all human, right? We can't beat ourselves up for momentary indiscretions [unless you're Kristen Stewart. You should beat yourself up].

Thankfully, I'm not Kristen Stewart and so there's no need to beat myself up over some mozzarella cheese.

I'm going strong and feeling awesome with the meatless approach to life. That's been a party compared to how much I miss dairy. I know it will get easier but uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh. Going out to eat is the hardest because the temptation is so much worse! Also this area doesn't cater to vegans. Sure, there are tons of vegetarian options on the menu but all of them have some kind of dairy whether it's cheese, cream, milk, etc. Needless to say, it's challenging in that respect but most places are happy to accommodate your dietary needs. I mean, shit, they want your business so they better accommodate!

As a side note, I haven't done much cooking this week. I've made a lot of salads with various veggies and a lot of smoothies. There was some quinoa and sauteed veggies thrown in there, too. I'm trying to get as much variety as possible because we all know that variety is the spice of life, and this little girl needs to change it up before boredom sets in. I'm sure you all agree that when it comes to lifestyle changes, if you get in a slump, you tend to give up.

Which is why the change in weather is super exciting! It means new foods and new recipes! Hello pumpkin, my old friend. I'm going to eat you and your family.

O' Hoagie, Where Art Thou?

If you read my post from Saturday, you already know that this weekend was rough. Totally worse than last week. I suspect it's because I'm so busy during the week that I don't have time to really indulge in anything. The weekends are a different story, especially when you're moving furniture and cleaning all day [which is precisely how I spent my weekend]. Whenever we've moved, we would always grab pizza and subs [you know, something quick and easy with minimal cutlery required]. Plus weekends for me are usually lazy with the exception of cleaning and running some errands. I like to stew in those relaxing moments by putting zero effort into cooking and/or baking. So, when I finished cleaning and setting up the new furniture, I was craving a hoagie HARD. I even mentioned it to Tim just because I could feel a good mood swing comin' on [told you, I was craving it hard]. For the most part, I had been keeping my cravings to myself. I felt to give voice to them was to give them power, and I needed to avoid that at all cost! My resolve is only so strong. During this particular crave, I knew it was unfair to keep him in the dark about why I was hating life.


Craving a hoagie is weird because I'm more of a pizza person than a hoagie person. Don't get me wrong, I love a good hoagie, but pizza is just the tits.

Hello, beautiful.

Cheesy, saucy, doughy tits. [wow. I think I just cured myself of pizza. doughy tits? what am I saying].

It is a scientific fact that simple carbs are addictive. No, I'm not going to get all science-y on you about it because 1) I'm not a scientist and 2) I really, really want you to read up on this topic yourself. I will say that when your body breaks down the components of something like a hoagie roll, it releases a ton of fun chemicals.


One of them being heroin. Okay fine, not exactly but it does release chemicals with highly addictive qualities. Plus, for most of us, eating is either a social thing or an emotional thing. Yes, we have to eat to survive but we're choosing foods that are tied to emotions and memories. They don't call them 'comfort foods' for nothin!

By the evening, my hoagie lust had turned into pasta lust. I would have severed my arm for some penne vodka. That shit's fuckin delish [especially from La Fontana].  My brilliant idea was to visually trick myself into thinking I was eating pasta. "How does that work?" It's not by eating a picture of pasta, just so you know. We decided that we'd have our 'pasta' via spahetti squash.

"What the heck is that?" I'm so glad you asked. It's a pretty, yellow squash found next to its butternut cousin in the produce section. It's SUPER easy to prepare. [I could kick myself because I forgot to take pictures...I'm new to this, back off].

Pierce the squash with a fork like you would a yam or potato. Then stick it in the microwave for 5 - 6 min per pound OR you bake it in the oven for about an hour at 375. You know it's done if you can cut through it easily. [Careful, that shit has some steam and it is hot]. When you pull it out of the oven/mircowave, you should let it sit for a few minutes before cutting in half and digging out the seeds. Then you scrape out all the spaghetti-looking strands with a fork. Voila! You have 'spaghetti'. At least that's what you're visually tricking yourself into thinking. You can treat the 'spaghetti' like you would normally treat real spaghetti: pasta sauce, marsala, etc. We tossed it with sautéed mushrooms, zucchini and onion with a light olive oil, garlic and lemon sauce. Simply incredible.

I was super full and extremely satisfied, but it's all veggies so in like an hour, I was getting hungry again. We should have paired it with some quinoa or something with more protein. Next time, my friends, next time.

Anyway, it was perfectly satiating. I highly recommend trying it. Because I'm a bonehead and I didn't take any pictures, I just HAD to find you some potential recipes!

This blog is hysterical though if you're non-dairy, you can swap out the butter with Earth Balance butter or use olive oil: Spaghetti Squash with Garlic and Butter

This is a vegan recipe with a bangin' Avocado Cream Sauce

Enjoy!

Dear Sugar, I miss you.

So today is sucking a fat chode. Yes, I said chode. And I meant it.

Firstly, the weather in the 'ville is crappy and completely non-conducive to my schedule. Rude. Everyone who knows me knows that I live by lists. It helps keep my brain from exploding into a million different pieces, which I find to be fairly important. When my list crossing-offing is interrupted by something as trivial as weather, I become slightly maniacal.

[I'm having trouble concentrating as we speak so I apologize for everything that is happening in this post right now. ]

Anyway, asshole weather is throwin' my groove off. Secondly, I am STARVING today! All the research I've done said that the first couple of weeks would be the most challenging. It didn't lie. I had secretly envisioned myself rising above these challenges with ease. I even shrugged my shoulders while I was reading about the symptoms of detox. "Pish posh. I've been through worse" I thought. WRONG. This sucks. I'm slightly depressed and craving sugar like a mothafucka.

I fortified my resolve by re-reading a few chapters of The Kind Life. Honestly, it helped...mostly because I found a super easy, super tasty, vegan-friendly dessert recipe...Crispy Peanut Butter Treats with Chocolate Chips courtesy of Alicia Silverstone. You should totally buy her book. There are a ton of wonderful recipes to try for any sweet or savory tooth! I think I love her. You can only imagine my sheer delight and excitement!

I had to go to the store anyway, but I was completely dreading it until I found that recipe. I was out the door so fast [I know I should be embarrassed about that, but I'm not]. Luckily, the store had all the fancy ingredients [just kidding...it's super simple]. I was so pumped on the way home. My mood was instantly lifted. Hooray dessert!

I set to work immediately upon storing the perishables in the fridge. I couldn't be bothered to put the non-perishable goods away until AFTER I made the Crispy PB Treats. Obvi.

This is what brown rice cereal crisps, brown rice syrup and chunky PB looks like.

This is what good helpers look like. Except Brisby...she's shifty.

This is what it looks like after you've added the chocolate chips and let it set in the fridge for an hour.

Of course, I immediately tried some and let me tell you...these treats do not disappoint! Delicious, super easy, and satisfying!

There ARE delicious treats out there that don't need dairy to be amazing. Imagine that!

Half-assing Things

Now that you're onboard with my Ultimate Quest, it's time for a confession.

Once, when I was tasked with vacuuming the living room and dining room, I didn't move the dining room chairs and vacuum under the table. My dad totally called me out on it. He told me I half-assed it and then proceeded to make me feel terrible. [He was merely pointing out that I didn't do what I was told, but I was a super sensitive kid and I loathed the feeling of letting someone down, which I clearly did by not fully vacuuming. Also, I have all-consuming guilt when it comes to matters like these].

After the vacuuming incident, the half-assing thing stuck with me and I solemnly vowed to never half-ass anything again. [I was probably 8 or 9 at the time so I clearly had no idea how much half-assing can do for you. specifically in college.] It has been my experience that when you half-ass something, you're really just being a lazy fuck. I hate lazy fucks. HATE them. I also can't stand people who whine about shit but never do anything about it....BECAUSE THEY'RE LAZY. It's an endless cycle, and it's boring.

It recently occurred to me that I'm half-assing my health. My HEALTH! Everyone who knows me knows that I'm an avid runner, explorer, exerciser, and sweater [not the garment, I mean I like to sweat it out. duh]. I take my daily exercise, whether it's walking, running, P90X or Insanity, extremely seriously. I don't do well when I can't expell that energy [I have crippling anxiety].

For my mental and physical health, exercise is key.

So why isn't healthful eating? Trick question! It IS key. I just never committed to it before. I would eat semi-healthfully most of the time, but this bitch loves some fried chicken and as I mentioned in the last post, anything smothered in cheese. These things are not helping me! In fact, they're hindering my body from performing optimally.

It got me thinking about my daily choices, which contribute to my life goals. It's been a life-long dream of mine to run a half-marathon. I trained super hard and serious from January to May for my first half. It felt amazing to be able to run 13.1 miles and not explode. I didn't meet my time goal, but I didn't give up either. I knew that I would run another half, and thankfully my darling sister, Katie, came to visit me so we could run one together. This was my second half and Katie's millionth [she's so annoyingly amazing and I love her].

I didn't train as hard this time around because of a small incident involving sangria, my previously broken ankle, and a hole in my yard; but I did better than the first time! I trained as hard as I could for the few weeks I had to prepare.

So my question to myself is this: "Hey asshole, if you can train like a champ for races, why aren't you giving your body everything it needs to perform optimally? Why are you weighing it down with heavy foods and fats?"

I started to mentally list all the times I make poor choices, and they're always when we're ordering in or going out. You should know something about me. It's integral to this quest. I love going out to eat. I love everything about it. There's nothing better than a great meal with some great friends [Kelley, I'm looking at you]. But you know what I realized?  It's not going out to eat that's the problem. It's me.  It's my choices that were holding me back. 

Hello. My name is Shawnsie. And I am addicted to food. It's true. I'm addicted to sugar, fats, and all things delicious yet terrible.

And you know what? So are you. It's chemical, and it's not your fault. It's the way the world works these days. So the main part of my quest is to get over these addictions, reset my palate, and dive into delicious but GOOD-for-you foods. I know they exist. I've had them.  Most importantly, I'm whole-assing my health now. Yes, whole-assing. Dig it.

This blog is not only here to hold me accountable, but also to inspire someone else out there to take his/her life seriously. You don't go around playing Russian Roulette on the weekends, do you? If you do, yikes. Seek help. I'm assuming you don't, so clearly, you take your life seriously. And you should.  You don't have to go vegan or veggie, but maybe, just maybe this blog will inspire you to try something new or reach a goal or whatever!

If you're reading this blog, you should deeply consider checking out my friend Jenny's blog. She continually inspires me to do better, be better and step up to challenges. It's glorious.

When Beauty Loved a Beast

Hello. My name is Shawnsie. This is me enjoying a lovely date with my husband and some delicious soft serve. Doesn't get any better than that, am I right?

You might remember me from a different kind of blog that I have clearly neglected for some time now.  I admit that I'm a bad blog mother.  Truth be told, I've missed blogging and getting my creative juices flowing but I just lost that spark, you know? It happens. C'est la vie.

Warning: This blog, while possibly inappropriate at times, has very little similarities to my last blog. You see, rather then being inspired by silly events that have occurred over my 28 years on this beautiful land, I was inspired by a quest. Yes, a QUEST [it's such a fancy feeling]. "What is it?" "What quest?" "I love quests. I'm feeling questy. I wanna go!"

Settle down everyone. You're all invited. My quest is to accomplish the one thing that I've merely flirted with over the past few years. In short, I am going to become a vegan. Don't worry, you don't have to do everything I do. I wouldn't want you to jump off a bridge if I told you to...well, maybe I would. There's a usually a good reason for those kinds of resquests. Anyway, I've dabbled and flirted with vegetarianism on and off my whole life. In total, I'd estimate that I've been an avid meat-eater for about a third of my existence. As a kiddo, I ate only white meat [no, not babies] and that was only because Bob and Lori forced us to eat our dinners or NO DESSERT [and if you know me at all, you know how terrifying that ultimatum was for me. It still terrifies me]. Once my mom and dad made me eat pot roast. In my defiance, I made a bold speech about democracy and standing up to the man. I lost. Bob and Lor put the kabosh on that one.

Needless to say, I grew up as a 'meat-and-potatoes' kid, but I was more potatoes than meat. Meat always freaked me out if I actually thought about what I was masticating so becoming a vegetarian isn't too difficult for me. Of course, I've fallen off the wagon quite a bit. Let's be honest, in restaurants/cafeterias around these parts, the most accessible food is usually meat-based. Everyone cooks with meat, everyone devours meat. Vegetarianism receives a lot of odd looks. I admit that it's getting better and veggie options are becoming more and more abundant. Yay change!

After reading books like Fast Food Nation and Skinny Bitch, my husband and I decided to become vegetarians for one year. We learned A LOT about cooking, flavors, and new foods. It was super exciting and fun. Yes, it was really hard some days, but we learned to deal with cravings. We did sub seafood once in awhile so I guess you could say, for the most part, we were pescetarians. After removing red and white meat from my diet, I'd honestly never felt better. I'm not sure why I went back to my carnivorous ways. Seems silly, really.

Let me tell you, if you've ever considered cutting out meat, you should read Fast Food Nation, Skinny Bitch, and The Kind Diet. They fucked my day UP.  In a good way [if that's even possible]. These books are horrifying in their descriptions of the way the animals are treated. It's absolutely heart-breaking. That was the number one reason I decided to go veggie for one year. I couldn't bear to think about all those sweet, docile cows, chickens, and pigs being tortured and forced to live a horrible, horrible life only for it to end even more inhumanely. Not to mention the squallid conditions. Fucking DIS-GUST-ING. And that shit [literally] gets in your FOOD. You're eating that. It's in your mouth.

Side note: I won't get into the political bullshit of the FDA and the meat industry. I challenge you to read the aforementioned books and educate yourself. If you're not that interested, that's fine, but at the very least, they are totally eye-opening.

Okay, I know that not all farms are like that. In reality though, 99% are exactly that. Unfortunately, the mom-and-pop family-owned farms are so few and far between that the meat you're buying at the grocery store is coming from factory farms. Of course, if you're lucky enough to live near a family-owned farm where the animals are treated well, not injected with antibiotics and hormones, and can actually move around, you really have a gem in your possession.  Take advantage of it. Those family-owned farms have to work twice as hard as a factory farm, and they deserve your attention and respect.

Some of you might be shaking your head at me. Some of you probably closed this web page. For the people who stuck around, good on'ya!

By now, I'm sure you're thinking "What does all this vegetarianism crap have to do with her ultimate quest?"  Good question Class, I'll tell you. The last step in transitioning from veggie to vegan is [basically] cutting out dairy. [Please note that I do not consider vegan to be synonymous with gluten-free. Being GF is not necessarily healthy for those who can tolerate gluten, but that's for another time or someone else's blog.]

That's right folks, letting go of milk and all things dairy....and CHEESE. [insert the saddest, most pathetic face you've ever seen here]. I love cheese. I love everything about it. It's so melty and delicious. It's the perfect complement to everything in the world. I'm serious. I could pen a sonnet about cheese.  Why give it up? Because cheese, although it isn't the result of a cow being slaughtered, it is the result of some serious udder torture. I'd be an animal-loving hypocrit if I gave up meat while professing my undying love for cows and simultaneously eating a hunk of Cooper Sharp.


My quest is not only to go vegan, it's to become the best version of myself. I want to live a kind life [as Ms. Silverstone would say]. I don't want to feed into an industry that tortures animals merely for a moment's pleasure. I want to be the healthiest, guilt-free version of me and because this cheeseless life is going to be super challenging, I need some back-up! This blog [and you little darlings] will hold me accountable. This blog will chronicle my journey.

And now it's on. Like Donkey Kong.